Friday, April 24, 2009

You MIGHT be a Right-Wing Extremist...

Am I the only one that that thinks this whole thing is like a REALLY BAD Jeff Foxworthy parody?
I actually went looking for the Missouri memo and the DHS report... I LOVE the Internet!
So I would like to take you to the "Left Wing Cafe" - a hot spot in the heart of Liberalville. Tonight's special performer is "Lefty" Paranoid - a stand up comedian. He approaches the mic to thunderous applause. Wearing his trademark "Stop Global Warming" tee shirt, he begins his set:

LP - If you believe in the government is abandoning the Constitution... you might be a right -wing extremist!
(Howls of laughter from the crowd)
LP - If you're a veteran who fought in Iraq or Afghanistan... you might be a right-wing extremist.
(Louder laughter)
LP - If you believe that the country is facing economic collapse... you might be a right-wing extremist.
(Crowd breaks into hysterical laughter)
LP - If you think that the use of RFID technology is going to be used in American citizens as a way to track them...
Crowd screams - You might be a right-wing extremist.
LP - If you listen to conservative talk radio...
Crowd screams louder - You might be a right-wing extremist.
LP - If you are against illegal immigration and oppose amnesty...
Crowd screams hysterically - You might be a right-wing extremist.
LP - If you use online chats, Yahoo groups, or blog...
Crowd falls off its chairs in exhaustion - You might be a right-wing extremist!

Update - On April 24th, DHS Secretary, Janet Napolitano, apologized about the veterans remark and assured the public that all references would be removed from this performance, stating that the report was released prematurely. As an aside, the report was released almost two weeks before that, it took a firestorm of protests before she made this one concession - she still has not commented on any of the outrageous claims.
Also, Missouri officials have not exactly retracted the report, however they have issued a statement that they will now review any memos that go to law enforcement before they are released - well, that makes ME feel like I've been vindicated!